10 best relationship books to read right now

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If you spend some time scrolling through TikTok and Instagram, you’ve come across all sorts of relationship advice, often trying to summarize complex situations into minute-long videos or 10-slide infographics. But sometimes you need a little more depth (and dare we say it, nuance!) when you’re grappling with the big issues: and that’s where our picks of the best relationship books come in. From guides exploring how to work through attachment theory, to rock bottom love languages, to polyamorous workbooks, these are the best relationship books from counselors, therapists, and experts looking to transform your approach to love and commitment. Enjoy reading…

Best relationship books

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Best Relationship Books – All About Love

William Morrow & Company


Want more love in your life? this is what All about love, by the late feminist academic and author Bell Hooks (her name is intentionally not capitalized, btw) is all about. By rejecting gender stereotypes in heterosexual relationships, she proposes ways to think about cultivating love in romantic relationships, through active foundations of commitment, trust, communication, and caring. The main takeaway: that love is a verb, rather than a noun, and should be nurtured by the things we do.


Best Relationship Books – The Ethical Slut

Press ten speeds


This guide to polyamory was groundbreaking when it was first published in 1997 and has since become a kind of “ethical non-monogamy for dummies.” If you’re new to polyamory, or curious and want to learn more, it’s a must-read, detailing how to deal with jealousy, manage scheduling when you have multiple partners, and general etiquette in the world of consensual non-monogamy .


Best Relationship Books – Attached: Are You Anxious, Avoidant, or Safe?



Attachment theory is a popular way of explaining how our childhood upbringing, primarily the impact of our primary caregivers, affects how we interact with relationships as adults. There are three main types: secure (you are unlikely to feel insecure or emotionally distant when dating), avoidant (partners may describe you as “emotionally unavailable”) and anxious (you may feel insecure in relationships). attached by dr. Amir Levine and Rachel Heller is a bestselling guide that aims to demystify all of this theory, get to the bottom of what your attachment style is, and show you ways to work through it.


Best Relationship Books – The Five Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts

Love languages ​​are a way of talking about the way people want to give and receive love in a relationship or friendship. There are five major love languages: words of affirmation, acts of service, receiving gifts, quality time, and physical touch. This book will help you identify your and your partner’s love language and use it as the basis for actionable steps to make your relationship more compatible, loving, and lasting.


Best Relationship Books – Love, Sex and Keeping Warm: Creating a Vital Relationship

This bestseller from Denver Post Dating columnist Neil Rosenthal centers around a universal problem: rekindling the spark in a relationship and finding solutions to recurring problems in a long-term relationship. It starts with a helpful quiz to see if you’re sabotaging your relationship, offers advice on spotting potential problems before they escalate, and includes plenty of practical techniques for openness, intimacy, and overcoming defensiveness.


Best Relationship Books – Block, Delete, Move On: It’s Not You, It’s They

This handy book, from viral dating expert sensation LalalaLetMeExplain, is a survival guide to modern dating, showing you signs of ghosting, negging, gaslighting, and other red flags. Focusing primarily on heterosexual connections, it helps women dissect the deep-seated gender inequalities and expectations that still exist in intimate relationships, all in a candid, no-nonsense tone with a healthy dose of humor.


Best Relationship Books – Polysecure: Attachment, Trauma and Consensual Nonmonogamy

Thorntree Press


As explained above, attachment theory is quite influential these days when it comes to talking about dating and relationships. HoweverHowever, most of the theory focuses solely on monogamous connections and can be more difficult to apply when you’re dating, sleeping, or in a relationship with more than one person. Enter: Polysecurea guide from polyamorous relationship therapist Jessica Fern who explains attachment theory at length, explains the different types of polyamory (there are many!), then applies that knowledge in practical exercises to strengthen your non-monogamous connections.


Best Relationship Books – The Love Secret: The Revolutionary New Science of Romantic Relationships



If you’re disillusioned with dating, this book is a great guide to rebuilding your confidence in monogamous connections, by claiming that humans are “naturally monogamous, close-knit animals” and building on recent research in attachment theory. It also shows you how your brain works when you’re in a healthy loving relationship, which is pretty cool IMO.


Best Relationship Books – Conscious Lesbian Dating & Love

Conscious girlfriend


Often relationship books are written from a heteronormative lens, which can be alienating to queer people looking to work on their relationships or find love. On top of that, most of the depictions of relationships many of us have grown up with – in culture or society – are between men and women, meaning that individuals within the lesbian community may not have the same resources to solve problems in their relationships. , especially those related to their identity. That’s true Conscious Lesbian Dating & Love comes in, which aims to provide an introduction to mindful dating for lesbians.


Queer Sex: A Trans and Non-Binary Guide to Intimacy, Pleasure, and Relationships

Jessica Kingsley Publishers


Juno Roche’s Queer Sex isn’t just about sexual connection and sexual exploration (although that’s a huge and very important part of it!), it’s also a brilliant guide to trans and non-binary relationships, told through the author’s own experiences and interviews with prominent community members discussing their views on dating and intimacy. It’s so rare to see love and sex advice centered around the trans and non-binary experience, which makes this release all the more important.

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