A father who decides he won’t pay for his daughter’s wedding because his wife wasn’t invited has left the internet torn in a new social media post.
A man under the anonymous username u/User2000gains shared his story on Reddit’s infamous forum r/AmITEA**hole hoping to get the opinion of many to help him decide if he’s made a mistake. The popular post has over 10,000 upvotes and 2,000 comments.
U/User2000gains started his story by explaining that his daughter is getting married in the fall and that he agrees to pay for the wedding. He has submitted the payments through his bank – which are yet to be approved, so nothing has been paid yet.
When he received the save the date cards, he found that his wife had not been invited. The original poster (OP) divorced 15 years ago and remarried seven years later. He explained that his daughter doesn’t really like his wife because they never got along. However, his other children adore her.
He wrote: “I called my daughter and asked her why my wife wasn’t invited. She said it’s her wedding anniversary and she only wants to invite her real family. I said ‘well, did you invite mom’s boyfriend?’ and she said yes. I said ‘well okay, then you have to invite my wife too or I won’t pay for the wedding.’
“She refused and said she didn’t invite my wife. I told her I would cancel the payments then, and she didn’t believe me. I canceled them and my daughter is now super mad at me, as is my ex-wife ,” he continued.
Are you in a similar situation and hesitant to invite one or both of your parents’ significant others to your wedding? If they’re paying for your wedding, they should be able to bring a plus one, especially if it’s a serious relationship.
“Consider if the parent pays for a share of the wedding. I call these people ‘The Board’ because they invest in your wedding and as such they have power,” said Elisabeth Kramer, wedding day author and coordinator. brides“This doesn’t mean that you should invite someone just because someone on the board wants them there, but that we have to take that context into account.”
But when is it okay not to invite one of your parents’ significant others? brides suggests that you are honest and compassionate when talking to your parents to discuss the seriousness of their relationship. If the relationship has just started and they’re not sure if it’s a long-term relationship, it’s probably okay not to invite them.
While many Reddit users agree with the OP, others argue that no one is to blame.
†[Not the a**hole]† You didn’t ask your wife to be part of the wedding party, just a guest. Your daughter has the right not to invite your wife, but then she has to pay for her wedding,” u/MaryAnne0601 got the highest comment with more than 10,000 votes.
“I feel like she’s denying her dad a +1. That just seems weird,” u/ProfessionalSir9978 replied.
U/Without-Reward also asked, “It also seems kind of weird that her mom’s boyfriend was invited, but her 8-year-old dad’s wife wasn’t?”
u/dmowad said: “[Not the a**hole]† Your daughter is downright rude. And where she has the right to decide who gets invited, you have the right to decide not to pay. Stick with your guns and I wouldn’t go back and pay if she decides to invite your wife. She takes your money and makes your wife hell. She won’t suddenly decide to play nice. Make the mother’s boyfriend pay. She clearly sees him as family.”
†[Not the a**hole]† She has every right to decide who is at her wedding, but you have every right to decide to support your wife in this. Especially if she doesn’t like her simply because you married after her mother,” wrote u/chill_stoner_0604.
U/Plenty_Lengthiness explained, “[Not the a**hole] – why would you, and presumably your wife, pay for something she was not invited to. It doesn’t work that way. If she wants to exclude your wife, she can pay for it herself.”
†[No one is the a**hole]† Your money and you can spend it as you wish. Your daughter can decide who she wants at her wedding and you can choose not to pay for it,” exclaimed u/LuckStrict6000.
†[No one is the a**hole]-she is under no obligation to invite your wife and you are under no obligation to pay or attend without your wife,” u/spaceyjaycey said.
news week has contacted u/User2000gains for comment.