Johnny Depp Bed Defecation Gets Full SNL Cold Open Dump Over $50 Million Trial – Deadline

There has been a lot of stool in recent weeks in Johnny Depp’s pending $50 million defamation lawsuit against Amber Heard. This evening, Saturday Night Live successfully threw some of his own against the wall to see what would stay open in the cold.

“I felt very, very sad,” bearded and ponytailed Kyle Mooney said as a grinning Depp on the stand when asked by a lawyer, Aidy Bryant, what his reaction was to discovering “fecal matter in your bed.” Hearing frequent objections from cast member Heidi Gardner as Heard’s chief attorney Elaine Bredehoft about the messy line of questioning, Judge Penny Azcarte played on SNL by a bespectacled Cecily Strong, opens up the whole cold and puts the whole real-life trial into perspective.

“I allow it because it sounds fun, and this trial is for fun,” exclaimed Strong’s Judge Azcarte in what was one of the best moves to clear up the legal stuff and one of the best SNL cold opens this almost over 47th season.

Depp and Heard’s mutual dirty laundry show resumes May 16 in Virginia after a week-long hiatus and has returned to the alleged 2016 incident where feces were found on the actor’s side of the duo’s bed in their DTLA pad. Supposedly one of the last straws for Depp, it was initially said by a Coachella-bound Heard that it was through the couple’s little dogs.

Depp associate Starling Jenkins II testified in the pending Old Dominion trial, telling the court on April 28 that Heard had told him during a drive to the desert music festival that the “human stool,” as Depp called it in his own testimony, was ” a terrible joke has gotten out of hand.”

“We don’t need to see it, but we want to, so shut up,” Strong’s judge added, perfectly timing fictional security tapes. “Mr. Depp, do you find this trial amusing,” she continued, with a nod to the actor’s behavior on and off the stands over the past few weeks. “Me too, you’re a bad Captain Jack,” she replied with a yell at the blockbuster pirates franchise and a raised wine glass to a “yes” from Mooney’s Depp.

Reviewing more of those fake CCTV footage of Depp guards, played by Kenan Thompson and Ego Nwodim, discovering the stained bed, Strong’s Azcarte went on to say, “I think I’ve seen enough. This trial has given me a lot to think about. On the one hand, I believe Mr Depp’s story. But then again, your constant little grin lets me know that this isn’t the first woman you’ve made so angry that she shit in your bed.”

Watch Depp’s “full nightmare” retort and the full skit here:

kick off with SNL MVP Kate McKinnon as MSNBC host Nicole Wallace declaring “you watch MSNBC news because there’s nowhere else to put your anger,” the cold opening for tonight’s episode of Selena Gomez seemed to mine for the same old, same old Beltway tropics it has had so far for too long. Then things shifted to the brilliant “cuckoo process” and the statement of “glad it’s not me!”

Now, to sum up Heard’s alleged phrase, a “horrible joke gone wrong” could be one way of describing the five-week and extremely explicit process in Virginia, no matter whose camp you find yourself in. However, walking away from the political material that has sadly mostly stumbled into the NBC late nighter’s cold open for most of this season, SNLAll things considered, tonight’s jab in the fight between Depp and Heard was pretty much a winner.

The five-week trial in Virginia began on April 11 and stems from Depp’s ex-wife and Rum diary co-starred in court in March 2019 for a late 2018 Washington Post Op-Ed Heard wrote of being a “public figure who represents domestic violence”. Although the piece in the broadsheet owned by Jeff Bezos never mentioned Depp by name, pirates of the caribbean actor insisted that the opinion was on him and “ruined” his career, costing him a lot of money, like another potential stint as Captain Jack Sparrow.

While he said nothing like that during the highly public and restraining order-filled divorce in 2016, in 2019 the self-admitted, sometimes substance-abuse Depp also began claiming that far from being the perpetrator of domestic violence in his relationship with Heard, he was the victim. .

Heard has failed to brush the case on a number of occasions and has in fact sued Depp for $100 million. At the end of 2020, Depp spectacularly lost a libel lawsuit in the UK against Rupert Murdoch’s The sun tabloid for calling the actor a “wife beater.” His efforts to appeal have gone nowhere quickly, and it’s clear that the courtroom drama in Fairfax County could be one last hurray for Depp if he doesn’t live up to the admittedly high standard of defamation in the US.

Also, even with a legion of ardent fans online and in court, it doesn’t help Depp’s lawsuit that he admitted in the stands that he wouldn’t be interested in returning to the pirates franchise if Disney offered him “$300 million and a million alpacas,” as one of Heard’s lawyers put it. It also does the layoffs Fantastic beats actor no favors that it seems like there was never any real interest in Disney having Depp back for an unmade Pirates 6 after all that was going up and down on the set of 2017 Dead men don’t tell stories

Heard was on her second day of testimony when the trial was temporarily halted on May 5. When the proceedings continue on Monday, the actress will be questioned more by her own lawyers and then subjected to what is expected to be a harsh cross-examination from Depp’s team.

Which could make for even more cold open material for SNL when russian doll‘s Natasha Lyonne will host the season finale on May 21.

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